The Woes of Teaching
by xxKo-No-Hanaxx
Summary: A collection of one shots about the misfortune of the teachers in Hogwarts. Well, mainly the misfortune of a certain potions master.
1. Babbling Beverage

**Author's Note:** Another idea from my friend. The request was 'Snape, his first ever potions class, and why he hates children.' I'm not all good at remembering things from Harry Potter, so if I get something major wrong I'm sorry.  
**Disclaimer:** JK Rowling owns Harry Potter and the characters, not me.

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**The Babbling Beverage  
  
**Severus Snape looked at the group of Gryffindor 1st years sitting before him at their tables, pots in front of them as they prepared for their first potions class ever. Snape could literally feel the fear emitting from the group of frightened children before him, and he would had laughed out loud if he himself hadn't been slightly nervous about this class. It was, after all, his first potions class ever as a teacher in Hogwarts.

"Okay class." He spoke, all eyes of his students turning and fixing on him as he spoke. "Today you will be making the Babbling Beverage." He said, wanting to start out with some easy and basically harmless so the idiots that could be in his class didn't get themselves killed.

Snape turned and wrote the few simple ingredients the students would need along with a few, easy to read direction that they had to follow in order for their potion to work on the board. Even if they made the potion wrong or skipped an ingredient the Babbling Beverage would still do what it was made to do, the potion would be more un-predictable and if any of his students decided to 'taste test' their failed creation they could begin ranting about who knows what.

"Professor!" One of the Gryffindor girls called, waving her hand around in the air as Snape slowly made his way over towards his desk. "I'm done!" She announced happily, seeming extremely proud of herself for finishing so far ahead of the other students (though it annoyed Snape slightly that she hadn't even given him two mintues of quiet).

Snape looked down at the potion that was bubbling inside the pot before the girl, noting that the coloring was right. He nodded and told her to wash it out and clean up then read ahead in her book, which she leapt to do in a heartbeat. Well, it was good to know at least one student in his class was good with potions.

He then turned to focus on a group of four young boys (that reminded him of the four who tormented him all through his school year) who were tossing things into the their now black potion. They had obvious forgotten the first few steps, since black was defiantly _not_ the correct color for a Babbling Beverage.

"Prof, this thing doesn't look right." One of the boys at the table pointed out as Snape walked by. "I told you not you drop that in Jake!" He shot at the boy closest to him who had his feet up on the desk, leaning back casually as if nothing was wrong.

"It looks fine to me." The boy, who was apparently named Jake, replied as he opened one eye and studied Snape. "Why doesn't someone try it and see if it works?" He suggested, but before Snape could point out how badly this child's idea would turn out one of the other two leapt up with a spoon in his hand.

"And who better to try it than our Professor!" The boy cried, dipping the spoon into the mixture and leaning across the table and shoving it into a surprised Snape's mouth which had been open to object.

As the potion ran down his throat Snape felt words fly out of his mouth and, without any hope of stopping them, he continued to let himself ramble on and on and on. The four kids in front of him were the first to burst out laughing, and then soon the whole class was giggling at their now talkative teacher. Even the smart girl from before who had made the perfect potion was doubling over in laughter.

'_I HATE children….._' Snape thought angrily as he started going on about his love for chocolate frogs now, the class continuing their loud and annoying laughing fit.


	2. Beautifying Potion

**Author's Note:** Another one of Snape's tales from his time at Hogwarts.  
**Disclaimer**: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, not me.

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**  
The Beauitfying Potion**

Fred and George Weasley snuck around another corner as they slowly made their way towards Snape's office. The two twins chuckled as the bottle filled with a potion they cooked up sloshed around in Fred's hand. 

"Who says we don't like our teachers, eh Fred?" George asked, laughing slightly as they neared the cruelest teacher in Hogwarts class room. It was said that when Snape first started teacher the students did something to him to make him detest children, but no one at Hogwarts could figure out who did, and they never would. Snape was too smart to drink a cup of coffee with a truth serum since he seemed to have a sixth scene about the fact that someone was trying to slip a potion by him. Someone in their first year had tried to stick and aging potion into Snape's drink and the kid just ended up in detention (and Snape didn't end up with a greasy beard to match his hair).

"I don't know George, Snape will sure love what we've cooked up for him!" Fred replied, holding up the bottle as he and his brother snuck around the corner, finding the room free of the nasty potions teachers. The two boys snuck into the room, looking around for a drink that they could slip their creation into.

"Water glass at ten o'clock." George pointed out as the two boys heard echoing footsteps quickly approaching. Snape was due back from his check on the Slytherin house any minute now.

Fred quickly leapt across the room and dumped their home-made potion into the glass of water and ducked into the shadows by the door with George. Both boys trying to be extremely quiet while they waited for the Professor to get into the class room and take a sip of his water. Then the fun would begin.

* * *

Snape walked down the Hogwarts hall as he rubbed the side of his head, trying to rid himself of the awful headache the nagging Slytherins had given him when he told them it was time to return to their dorms and sleep. He not only hated children because they insisted on pulling pranks him twenty-four seven but they also complained too much, and were extremely ungrateful for what they had and were always trying to get more. A longer bed time, more practice time, etcetera, etcetera. They never stopped their constant begging for _mor__e._

Sighing Snape pushed open the door to his class and was too blind by the thoughts dancing through his mind to even notice the two pairs of eyes watching him from the shadows. The 'potions master' also didn't realize that there had been a potion spilled into his drink until he was done drinking the last bit of his water in one huge gulp.

The tingling feeling in his face and at the roots of his hair woke him up and he wondered what potion some pranksters had slipped on him this time. While Snape quickly made his was over towards a mirror, Fred and George slipped out of the class room trying not to giggle at their teacher's new appearance.

The potion they had snuck into Snape's drink hadn't meant to do him any harm or turn his hair pink or anything. No, the twins had decided to be nice in one of their pranks for a change and had made a Beautifying Potion for their _slightly_ un-attractive teacher.

"You remembered the camera, right George?" Fred asked, looking back at the potions room as he heard Snape let out a surprised yell.

"Of course, we have to remember this prank. It's the _only_ time we plan on pulling a prank on anyone and being _nice_ about." George replied as he pulled out a picture of their potions master with silky, long, supermodel black hair, a smaller almost perfect looking nose, and instead of looking willowy Snape was muscular.

The twins laughed as they heard another yell from the class room they had just left, and raced off down the halls back towards their common room before Snape heard them and start chasing after them.

Unfortunately for Snape, the next day the older students had their first Hogsmeade trip of the year. And, being much more attractive than normal with the help of the potion that had been slipped into his drink, almost every witch over the age of 23 was hitting on him like crazy and he had no idea how to make them stop.

From that day on, Snape had developed a minor fear of the woman in Hogsmeade. And also of supermodels with long black hair.

**The End**


End file.
